And so, here I sit, wondering what the future holds. wondering if i'll ever find my way. i know i'm not perfect nor is my significant other. my life as i know it is now beginning. its a fresh start- new place, new people, new job, and of course a new guy. life really has a funny way of working. i never thought that october 31st would change my whole life. i was honestly unaware of how hard i'd be hit- by cupid and his arrow. where am i going with this? i guess i am trying to make sense of this whole journey.
it's been a little over a month since i moved out to colorado. to say i'm happy would be an understatement; i am finally where i was made to be, next to this man which is named Cookie. Cookie and i met on halloween of 2008. i wasn't interested. currently, i had been spring board dating- jumping from one guy to the next with no intention of settling down. that night, we drank heavily. slamming beers and crushing shots turned the night into mayhem. up til the wee hours of the morning, only to wake up to my friend drunkenly pissing the bed and causing me to face the demon of a "hangover." i began puking for hours and hours, while my knight in shining armor quietly slept away the early hours.
Cookie and all the guys rallied the morning away before the Seahawks game with beers and vodka. my stomach was weak, so us girls hit up a small bagel joint up the hill where my hangover was nursed by a delicious sandwhich. that evening, we met up with all guys for dinner and cocktails. Cookie arrived in his cookie monster atire, ready for more drinks and practically blacked out. i sat across the table from him and was totally disgusted with his drunken behavior- trying to the show the waitress a picture of his 'you-know-what' on his digital camera. "who is this guy?" i thought to myself, incredibly annoyed at his level of immaturity. i stuffed my face with food and practically out of nowhere he began to shout non-sense to me about how i look like a "RUSSIAN MALE ORDER BRIDE" and from there on, he began to call me his "wife." how endearing huh? unfortunately, i never got to say goodbye to Cookie as he disappeared from dinner after a drunken argument with one of the other guys.
my drive home to bellingham that evening, from seattle was incredibly entertaining. Cookie began to call and text me, begging his "wife" to please, come back to seattle. i laughed away at his cute remarks about making me his wifey and began to play along with the game, calling him my "husband."
life took its course- the days turned into weeks and in the back of my head i was constantly wondering what happened to Cookie. we began to chat over Facebook... i'd sign on and in the bottom right hand corner, a box would pop up from Cookie saying, "Wifey!!"... And so we chatted the cold, winter nights away- often times up til 12 or 1 AM. he began to steal my heart. slowly day by day i found myself waiting for him to sign on Facebook so we could chat. for the first time, this relationship felt so innocent yet almost suffocatingly real. the chat turned into random texts here and there. november came to a close and december rolled through as swiftly as quick sand. we'd randomly call each other during drunk nights out at the bars and his sweet sense of humor made my heart fall.
new years night became an uneventful disaster. running into my ex of 5 years with another girl turned into quite the shit show. wasted beyond function, i slugged drinks and finished them off by ever so gently "tossing" the glass at my ex and his girlfriend. surely, after a few tosses, i was tossed out of the bar. humiliated and hurt, i stumbled my way to a friends car and the night was finished. the next few days, i forced myself to pick up the pieces to my heart and not let my ex get to me. one last email to him and the chapter was closed. Cookie and i began to text more than usual. two texts a night turned into 20 or more. the texts turned into hour long phone calls. each time, he'd address me as his wife. and when i found my liquid courage, i'd word vomit, "i love you" after each conversation. we began to throw the idea of visiting each other out there. i begged him to visit the weekend of January 31st since i had time off from work for a wedding. he promised to try to get someone to cover for him as he had a concert scheduled. unfortunately, the word was no and he wouldn't be visiting. upset with the situation and forseeing the next few months of wondering "what could have been", wasn't sufficient enough and i wanted it all to change.
saturday, january 24th, my girls and i hit up the bars for another memory to stick in our photo albums. after returning home from the bars, i decided to call up my husband to have a little chat about my evening. he too, being a little intoxicated, offered up the idea of me visiting the following weekend. i laughed and said, "ill book my ticket right now." he chuckled softly and repeated to me, "sure, sure wife." the drunk party at my friends forced me to have to go, so i informed Cookie that we would chat in the morning. i said "goodnight" and he said, "i love you wife." wow... he said it first without my initiation. my mind was a whirlwind- should i go and blow off a friends wedding? 4AM quickly crept into the room and there i sat on the computer one-eyeing the internet page. i punched in my credit card number and hit "confirm." SOLD! i was officially flying to denver to visit my husband. i forwarded my ticket confirmation to Cookie, flipped off the lights, and awaited his speechless call of excitement for the next 12 hours.
